March 5th, 2010
My entire life, I’ve been scared of guns. I don’t know why. My family always had them around and I liked to look at them or watch other people shoot them, but I never so much as laid a fingertip on one because they scared me so badly.
Having lived in Tennessee for over three years now, I’ve seen a different side of things. The attitudes here toward guns are a lot different than what I saw at home. I’m not saying that Tennessee is full of people who have huge arsenals or anything (though I’m sure there are a few, ha ha). But a great number of people I know here have carry permits, and a lot of them are women (a fact that was shocking to me at first).
So, what with 2010 being my year to try new things, I decided I’d face my fear (and in the process, get to check off an item on my 101 in 1,001 list). I went up to Guns and Leather and borrowed a Glock 9mm from them and Mike took me out on the range and showed me how to shoot.
http://www.vimeo.com/9928433
We were shooting 5 rounds and switching off. The video was shots #6 through 10 for me. You can see at that point, I was still flinching really bad. Ha ha.
Of course, that was a vast improvement over my very first shot. I watched Mike shoot first and then he told me it was my turn. First thought in my head was: Maybe I don’t want to do this after all. I could just watch him shoot. But I stepped forward anyway. Next thing I knew, I had a loaded gun in my hands. Deep breaths. Aimed. Squeezed the trigger. Pop. A flash of fire and a little kick that bent my wrists up and back to the right.
I don’t know exactly what I did then. I think I may have set the gun down. (I know I kept it aimed down-range because Mike told me explicitly no matter what I did, to make sure I did that.) I felt myself almost start to cry. I hadn’t known what to expect or how it was going to feel. Watching someone else shoot is nothing like feeling it go off in your own hands. The flash and the pop and the feel of all that power in my two hands made me shake. I leaned against the wall fighting back tears. Mike said he thought I was about to walk out, based on the look on my face, and characteristically, that would have been a very me thing to do.
It was running through my head: I don’t like this. This is scary. I don’t want to do this anymore. I’ll let Mike finish up and then we can just go home and it will be ok.
I collected myself. One more shot, I decided. I’d force myself to do it one more time and if it still scared me, then I’d quit.
I braced my arms and wrists a little more stiffly. (While I realize most people would laugh at me for saying this type of gun “kicked” at all, having never had my hands on a weapon previously, I had been taken by surprise the first time around.) I was shaking a little, but forced myself to breathe and steady my hands.
I squeezed the trigger, this time anticipating what I would see, hear, and feel. And this time, it wasn’t so bad. So I fired three more times, each time having to pause and collect myself, but each time gaining confidence.
At the end of the night, Mike loaded the last 10 rounds (he’s much faster than I am at it) and gave me a fresh blank target all to myself.
I promise there are ten bullet holes there, ha ha. The ones to the upper left were the first three or four, and then I started to compensate for where I was aiming to get more to the middle for the remaining bullets. I guess I’m pretty consistent. Mike seemed in awe. He told me he was extremely proud of me and that I did a really good job.
I felt proud of myself. I conquered a fear that I’ve had since childhood. I forced myself through something when I wanted to give up. To boot, once I got the hang of it, I found target-shooting to be pretty damn fun, actually.
We went back upstairs at the gun shop and the men working there congratulated me and told me I did a good job too. That particular shop is known for being very woman-friendly, and they didn’t disappoint.
Then I decided to get myself a little belated-birthday gift.
I wound up going with a Springfield XD9 rather than the Glock that I’d tried out at the range.
The XD9 had some added safety features that I really liked: It has the double trigger (like the Glock). It has a 1911 grip safety, which is the lever at the back that requires you to have the gun firmly in your hand for it to fire. There’s also a round-in-chamber indicator and striker status indicator.
The XD was a bit heavier than the Glock but that’s the only thing I could say about it that was “negative” (and it was such a minute difference that I can’t even count that against it).
When we got home, Mike and I sat at the kitchen table quite a while and he taught me how to take it all apart and clean it, then reassemble it. I watched him. Then he made me do it myself. It’s all a bit stiff and apparently I need to work on the strength in my hands, but I can do it!
I’m kind of looking forward to taking it back up to the range (I have a free pass–woohoo!) so I can really get to know my gun specifically.
That feels weird to say — my gun. It felt weird to buy in general. But it also felt incredibly empowering.
March 3rd, 2010
I’ve been so busy over the last week. With Mike in town, life is go-go-go.
We toured the capitol building, went to the Tennessee State Museum, wandered through Printer’s Alley, saw the Parthenon, went out downtown (there’s a strong possibility I may have bought him a body-shot off the Coyote Ugly girls, heh), visited the National Corvette Museum, saw some amazing exhibits at the Frist, and I know I’m forgetting things.
I needed another weekend to recover from this past weekend.
Mike picked up where mom left off, helping me clean and fix things around the house. He got my car out of the yard, where it was stuck with a dead battery (and in the process, taught me how to jump a car) and is rebuilding a section of my fence that was damaged.
He’s been cooking too and makes an especially wicked breakfast. Tonight when I get home from work, he’s cooking me his “family secret” recipe for fish. I’m eager to try that.
Last night, we began what is sure to be an epic battle
… of Scrabble and 500 Rummy.
The compettition began with a friendly match of Scrabble, in which I lost miserably. Mike helped me use up the last few tiles and score 30 points with a 3-letter word (my best word-score of the night), and I still lost. He seriously rocks the Scrabble board.
We were going to go for Scrabble round 2, but instead we wound up opting for 500 Rummy. Mike warned me that his Rummy skills even outweighed his superior Scrabble skills, so I was in trouble.
I was pretty smug after winning the first two hands and securing a pretty big lead. However, in the third hand, Mike went out early and I made the mistake of having an ace in my hand and very little on the table. I wound up winning the fourth hand but not by enough to win the game overall.
I think he must have been cheating. (Hehe.) REMATCH!
February 25th, 2010
I’ve been trying to write a post about my birthday, but I can’t seem to muster up anything coherent. Suffice to say, it was good. Simple, quiet, and happy.
My friend Mike came to visit. We celebrated with wine and desserts (crème brûlée and pecan cheesecake) at September’s Café. (Their wine menu? Amazing.)
We also played around at Sam Ash for a while. Boy was in his element there…
http://www.vimeo.com/9721697
(Excuse the sound, obviously the video camera wasn’t hooked in to the electronics…)
I love it when friends and family from back home come to visit. It gives me an excuse to do all the Nashville touristy things all over again, even though I’ve lived here for three years. Opryland, the Ryman, Tootsies, etc. etc.
We’re also doing a bunch of things that I’ve wanted to do for a long time, but never had the opportunity: We’re going to the Frist and exploring some of the local art galleries. We’re going to have breakfast at The Pancake Pantry. I think it’s going to be fun.
Basically I’m stretching out the birthday celebrations another week or so. Wahoo!
February 24th, 2010
I’m 28 today. Twenty-freakin’-eight.
I feel like I’m still about 17. Where did the time go?
I haven’t had my first gray hair pop up yet. Then again, Benjamin at Tangles keeps my hair dyed so masterfully that I’m not sure I’d know if I had any. (Seriously, that man works wonders.)
In the last year I have managed to develop my first wrinkles though — two of them, right between my eyebrows. I distinctly remember the first time, about a month ago, that I touched my face and felt the lines and realized that they remained creased no matter how I contorted my face. Crap. Of course I’d get scowl lines instead of laugh lines. Bring on the Oil of Olay!
(There’s a strong possibility I may be hallucinating these “wrinkles”, but I’m taking preventative measures.)
Despite all that and despite the fact that 28 is frighteningly close to 30 (we won’t talk about that), I’m pretty excited about this birthday overall.
First off, though this will sound superstitious and stupid, I find that even-numbered birthdays (which are also even-numbered years, in my case) always go better than odd-numbered birthdays. I’m going to run with this theory and declare this an awesome year.
Also, I’ve decided that the age of 28 makes you sound like you know something. (What? I don’t know. But something.) That is, in your late-20’s you seem old enough to be an adult and be at least somewhat an authority on life, yet you’re still young enough to be stupid and have fun on the weekends. I like that.
(As an aside: When I was a kid I believed I would “know it all” by the age of 30. I think I’m waaay behind on that. Maybe I’ll shoot for about 80…)
How am I celebrating? Quietly, with my dog and cat and dear friend, Mike, who drove down all the way from Pennsylvania today. I made a roast in the crockpot and I think maybe we’ll go out for dessert and drinks (’cause let’s face it — baking your own birthday cake sucks). I like quiet birthdays anyway.
Rumor has it, though, that the knit shop girls have more planned for us February-birthday-girls on Saturday. Which means a heluva good time! Those gals are crazy and I love every one of them like family.
Anyway, before I go off on a mushy-tangent… Yes, I am 28 today. And it is going to be a good year.
February 23rd, 2010
I’ve gotten some of the coolest birthday cards in the mail this week. My friends know me way too well! It’s also lovely to know I have friends who take time to pick cards that really suit me to a “T”.
I got this fantastic card from Erica, which describes our friendship perfectly. I thought I’d share it with you all because most of you could appreciate this, I think…
No matter what the time of day,
we always have so much to say –
we talk, we twitter, text and gab,
we chit, we chat, we blog, we blab.
We tell it straight, we tell it true,
you email me, I IM you,
on our cells or at the mall,
or writing on each other’s wall…
From “Hi – hello” to news that’s global
face to face, online and mobile,
up to date, and in the loop,
we know what’s what, we scoop the scoop…
There isn’t much that we don’t share,
because we can, because we care,
our next topic to discuss?
this world needs more real friends like us!
My entire life, I’ve been scared of guns. I don’t know why. My family always had them around and I liked to look at them or watch other people shoot them, but I never so much as laid a fingertip on one because they scared me so badly.
I don’t know exactly what I did then. I think I may have set the gun down. (I know I kept it aimed down-range because Mike told me explicitly no matter what I did, to make sure I did that.) I felt myself almost start to cry. I hadn’t known what to expect or how it was going to feel. Watching someone else shoot is nothing like feeling it go off in your own hands. The flash and the pop and the feel of all that power in my two hands made me shake. I leaned against the wall fighting back tears. Mike said he thought I was about to walk out, based on the look on my face, and characteristically, that would have been a very me thing to do.
Then I decided to get myself a little belated-birthday gift.
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